the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You need a sexual gate keeper
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
