you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
