He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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