Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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