I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
That accounts for only three of the penises
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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