WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
