You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
