She said her name was "party"
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
