What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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