I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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