Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
