i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
