just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
