Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
false alarm, still single
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
