If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Randomize