not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
