Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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