This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
