God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
