He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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