I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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