Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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