If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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