i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
