just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize