Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
