Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Everyone says I win the strip club
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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