alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
