I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
