So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
why is half of my head shaved?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
