I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i love accidental penises.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
