Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
