wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I believe in your delicious
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
