dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
