Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
