So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
