I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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