Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
