I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
