thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
