can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
