i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
