im six kinds of drunk right now
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
