he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
