plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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