if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
