nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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