marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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