you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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