In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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