i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize