Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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