Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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