I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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