you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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