this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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