I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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