Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
