Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
