I don't think brook has ever known best
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
