I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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