He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
