u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
