I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
