PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
