What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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