omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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