"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
